Thoughts on my life by a middle-aged, laid off, former cynic trying to follow the happy trail into the next era.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”
In another gallery a young man displays "cityscapes" of Los Angeles using official hazard paint. They're impressionistic swishes of red, black and white lines over bigger swishes of traffic lane yellow, curbside red, metro bus blue. Beautiful and reminiscent of the jet age, jazzy 60s. Half a dozen iterations of the same idea.
I'm supposed to be writing, writing what I know. Writing and writing. But this blog is mortifying. It's the same story over and over again. The same story of childhood bewilderment, adult sadness, silver years self doubt. L said many artists depict the same idea over and over again (see KR "floating, floating") and I saw that there. I don't know why yet, or where it's supposed to take you. It feels limited and useless to continually "worry" the same memories like beads on a string (while I could be stringing pearls for the sake of heaven).
You must see the film The Other Son. Le Fils de L'Autre (more accurately translated The Others' Son, much more descriptive) is the story of two boys switched at birth, one Israeli, one Palestinian. The boys are raised in close, supportive, loving families, one in Tel Aviv and one behind the wall on the West Bank. When the switch is revealed, both boys, age 18, have to cope with the thought they're living in each other's lives, in each other's skin. Mothers, fathers, siblings all have to re-examine identity, enmity and love. This is a great movie, in French and Hebrew. The filmmakers are French.
I got to see this film at the Museum of Tolerance , where the filmmaker failed to appear but comments from the audience, in a bit of post-film forum, ranged from "This film gives me hope" to "Islamists are at war with the west" (two Israelis) to "There is no Occupied Territory. This is the State of Israel" (an American). This is a beautifully crafted piece of work that is a must-see for Middle East peaceworkers and I could not wait to tell you about it.
Hate is such a luxury. One can so easily indulge when you know little or nothing about a people, race or nation. How easy it is to objectify the unknown and then turn the object into a monster.
Lorraine Lévy’s “The Other Son” rips that luxury out of the hands of her Israeli and Palestinian characters when she forces them to meet a monster — who is their own flesh and blood.
The movie sounds like a gimmick and you cringe at the many ways it could go wrong. But it never does.
Once the truth is out, Levy and co-writers Nathalie Saugeon and Noam Fitoussi explore the rippling effect it has on the two families, with each trying to cope with the fact that their own flesh and blood has been raised across enemy lines. Yet rather than dipping into pure melodrama or piling on the socio-political messages, the filmmakers tend to keep things extremely personal, revealing the emotional repercussions of the events on each character, as well as the human costs of the decades-long conflict.
http://prod3.agileticketing.net/websales/pages/info.aspx?epguid=1b480240-2738-4c73-be1f-483c23114bbf&evtinfo=36396~cb15eca8-60ee-4994-aed0-3a80721900eb San Francisco Jewish Film Festival
While nothing can dampen both mothers’ love for their children, it is the other family members, particularly the fathers that have the most trouble adapting to this new reality. Everyone is forced to reconsider their identities, values and beliefs. Restrained and nuanced performances from the entire multinational cast (led by Emmanuelle Davos as Orith) elevate this memorable and touching family drama into an unforgettable viewing experience. A must-see for parents and for grown children. In other words, for everyone.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/28/the-other-son-trailer_n_1836043.html Watch the trailer here
How deep in a rut am I that it's a major victory if I just get one thing done? It's not depression, it's denial. While I'm in this house I feel safe. Until bedtime. Me and the demon weed. Then I realize I'm almost dead, the nest egg will dry up, I'll be old and alone (if I'm lucky) and might as well move to Miami.
I dream that I get called in to work but things go wrong that are out of my control. I'm chastised and pissed and I wake up unsatisfied.
Today I walked up and down the driveway for 30 laps. Because the Stairmaster wouldn't turn on. I could have done more. Next time 40 laps. My legs have stopped hurting. Can't believe the squats found so many unused fibers. My one thing is exercise. And now this. That's two.
Actually got out of the bed at 10 am (which means the clock radio is probably playing upstairs–it was set for 11:30). That's unheard of during the current trend. Just wanted to print out my confirmation for tonight's screening then come back up and exercise. Only, I've been online for 3 hours already. How does time go by so fast? It's just email and facebook and reading the articles linked ranging from long hair for grays and views of last night's debates.
Ate my oatmeal – 'porridge' as my father used to say pedantically – supplemented with chia seeds, chopped nuts, raisins and cinnamon, and feel like i could fall back to sleep. Too bad I have to go in an hour and a half...adding a real life errand ahead of my farewell chiro appointment. Can't afford to spend on feel good treatments anymore. I'll just have to live with my scar tissue and contracted muscles with mechanical apparati and drugs.
The film tonight, The Other Brother, is the story of Israeli and Palestinian infants who were switched soon after birth. I hope it's good. It's a great idea.
I'm shocked at the Jewish response to the Rachel Corrie lawsuit. A girl who was non-violently resisting was murdered by the IDF. She is not to blame for her victimization. She was not in a "war zone" as so many have written, she was in a village of families. Anyway it's not a war if only one side has an army. I'm ashamed of the Jews who are hating so hard. Does anyone remember the Chinese man with shopping bags who stood himself in front of a tank? That tank did not run him over. Who had better visibility, the tank driver or the bulldozer driver with a window?
Shameful that as Jews who participated in peace and justice actions here in the US, more of us can't stand with an American who courageously and literally took a stand for justice in occupied lands.
I'm finding it's a good day when I get one and only one thing accomplished. Today it's getting my cable rate reduced. Since trying to order DirecTV and bundling it through Verizon has already cost me three fruitless hours-long ichat and phone sessions – and proves my thesis that no one is competent or ethical – I'm resigned to sticking with the cable company, only I'll have to remember to run over to the store and pick up a second converter while they're still being offered for free.
I know you too have seen that if there's no place to go and no time to get there, it's a miracle if anything gets accomplished at all. That's the power of deadlines. This is how the unemployed become hobos if they don't have a work ethic. Even Louie CK taught his fictional sitcom daughters in a fictional sitcom situation that if you want something, it's important to work hard to achieve it. Me, I can't be bothered.
Current fetishes: Baja Fresh, self-serve frozen yogurt, Tess Gerristen
Now, do I sift through this pile of catalogs, bills and newspapers or do i go upstairs and pedal the stationary bike while watching tv and reading a pulp novel? One of these days I should probably send out a few resumes.
